A New Day

This is it kids. It's the end of 2011 as we know it. There is so much hope and so many things to look forward to this next year. A whole year ahead of us, and nothing but memories behind us. Resolve.
With the passing years there is often a feeling of "slow down" as you reach adulthood, that want to take your time and just let everything freeze for a second hoping that maybe if you have more time you can make better decisions. A new year is full of life and opportunity, with everything to look forward to and everything to start again. Isn't it wonderful? Midst all the ambition and friendship ringing in the New Year, I thought of something as I talked with an old friend, their words making a funny little ring in my mind, echoing into a blog. One decision, that's all it takes. Just one decision to alter the rest of your life. I think we have to decide now what we are going to decide in the future. At the beginning of each year, I think we need to consider the end of that same year. When the time comes for me to decide, what will I say? When I'm given an opportunity to follow the career of my choice, what am I willing to give up? How much am I willing to give up for my friends, family and comfort? When we really make these decisions in our hearts, it is infinitely easier to maintain that resolve as we press forward into who we truly are. Never lose sight of that. There is you, and then there is you with them. Remember that your core, your essence, your being can be fragile, and if you don't hold true to it, you can lose it in the blink of an eye. I also wonder about other people. I know that sounds funny, but I do. I wonder what things would have been like if that person hadn't had a child outside of marriage, if that person had spent more time trying to be a good friend instead of an ambitious entrepreneur, if he had just listened more, and she had just judged less. You see, each decision is a path, and as we make decisions, some paths open up and others close off. That is why, before we make decisions, we need to see where this will take us. The most powerful talent a person can have is foresight, the ability to see what will happen before it happens. This ability to consider what will happen makes successful marriages, business opportunities, and lifestyles. So why do some people have it and others don't? I don't know. But I do know that spontaneity and responsibility are yin and yang, opposites that need to be considered in all things. Seeing into the future involves a lot of patience, observation, experience, concentration, and humility. We get enthralled with this idea of "setting our own path" and "disturbing the status quo" that we don't recognize the truths from the ages. Maybe there is no absolute truth, but I do know that we are predecessors of countless men and women in the same pursuit of harmony, joy, and lasting peace. Perhaps we should take a look into the past to predict our future. Don't give up hope, don't let the past dominate your future, and don't lose sight of your resolve. Keep it in your heart where no one can ensnare or corrupt, after all, that's what the heart is for. That's a New Years tea cup of my philosophy.

Too early to sleep, too late to wake up.

Only  heaven knows  why I’m awake at 2:19 in the morning, what’s worse I’m watching television. I guess when you have insomnia and time, you can’t really find something else to do. The ads for body workouts and singles dating networks are almost as painful as the terrible sitcoms playing reruns of shows that never made it past the first season. As I begin to focus on my typing, the tv turns off, and the sounds of the early morning begin to hum. This is when I notice. It doesn’t happen always, but once every now and again, when I have time to think about it, I get this strange pit in my stomach, and an aching to have someone next to me. I guess this would explain the dating services and workout programs. People will do anything to not be alone. I heard a recent study that a person without social interaction, being left alone, will suffer the same death ratio as someone that smokes 15 cigarettes a day. This is a statistic I not only find disturbing, but also somewhat painful.  A life alone is death waiting to happen. I suppose that between all the rushing and fast paced living we have, even the independent must find themselves with someone. Sometimes when I look up at the ceiling and stare off into a cosmic void of tope paint and shadow corners, I wonder what it would be like to have someone. I can’t imagine what it must be like, never wondering who you’re going to be with tomorrow, who you’re going to share your next meal with, your next night with, your next kiss with. You know because you chose them and they chose you. Maybe it was luck of the draw, maybe it was fate, or maybe it was darwin’s survival of the fittest, but be that as it may, you are no longer alone. Millions of worries that every average human being faces have all suddenly disappeared with that single assuring truth. What would we really be willing to do to prohibit this feeling of empty seclusion? I suppose we all have our talents keeping us from being alone. Some are blessed with good looks, others with a shining personality, and the blessed few with both, but yet there are other things that can keep us from being alone. Some people are good actors. They can be what they want to be, convince people of what they want interpreted, and manipulate others into believing whatever their selfish desires may demand. I was a good performer. I could be anything, I could play a part like it was second nature to me. I was never alone, and I always had company to keep me from realizing what I truly was. But there comes a time when you grow old. I, of course, am by no stretch of the imagination old, but I am experiencing a sort of “tired maturity.” I no longer enjoy playing games, I don’t want to have to trick people, and I’m tired of acting to get what I want. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that I appreciate something real. I don’t understand our current predicament of strutting our feathers like an underappreciated peacock, pleading for an attentive eye, doing whatever we may to get that one minute of spotlight. Perhaps when you’ve seen so much in your life you can’t help but believe that there has to be a way that doesn’t drain ones faculties so much. Isn’t there a way to be honest with our fellow humans? A way to say what we feel and have the freedom to not retreat from an inner inclination but to do what we feel is right for us personally? Maybe I dream too much, maybe there is a strange egotism clouding our idea of doing what we want. We may at times disregard what we want simply because we want it. I doubt there is anyone on this earth that would not give up everything to be with the one they could love for eons into eternity, but in doing so, ironies paradoxical hand holds us as we realize that the more we give up, the further we become from what we want. I speak nothing of material good, to hades with those, I say. When I refer to giving up everything I speak of who we are in our very fabric. Our whimsical laugh, our half cocked smile, and our sense of humor that we feel others would never understand, and yet, amongst all the people we know, shouldn’t we still be looking for that “someone”? Surely when fate had created this whole scheme we call life, there was a failsafe to help us along the way, showing us who and what is important. Why then would we ruin that failsafe by changing our fundamental structure? We are not meant to be alone. We will not be alone if we truly don’t want to be. It is in our every pigment, cell, and atom, that we are not to be alone. Yet how often do we communicate what we want? Only the bold find themselves being outspoken and voicing what they want in such a brash manner. The silent envy them, staring on from the corners speaking “if onlys” under their breath, not realizing that standing next to them is someone with hopes, dreams, ambitions, and desire. Often times the lovely dames of our generation feel such a strong obligation to be pretty that they lose themselves believing that no one could love them for who they are, and yet the young lads are looking for someone that believes in themselves. The young men pine for a woman that doesn’t seem immediate and yet all the women are searching for that one man that will take charge of his fate and make his own path. If only we as a species could relearn how to communicate. It was what made us different from the animals, our ability to let others know how we felt. Now we devolve into a hollow shell of what was once the greatest creation to walk the earth. Perhaps this is why I still write, the ability to say that at least I tried to help others understand that there is so much more beyond their own thought process, while on the other hand, helping the few realize that they are simply few, but not extinct. We have potential to open channels, the ability to create a link between humans. Don’t waste a thought thinking that someone’s life is easier than your own, because we all face difficulties. The ones that seem happy are simply strong, determined, and experienced in hardship. If only you would pay attention, you could see how hard it is for those people to live how they do. I’ve seen it in the eyes of so many a young people, burdens of the world weighing down on their shoulders as they convince themselves that this is “fair.” They have long ago taken the good with the bad, realizing that perfection is an illusion for philosophy, and that with all things is there a yin and yang. Yet asking is the first step to receiving an answer. Don’t ever be afraid to ask. Liars will lie, but truth tellers will break the chains of malice. An early morning philosophy in a tea cup. 

COOOLLLDDDD!!

So God thought it would be funny to send 102 MPH winds to Ogden this last Thursday, LUCKY ME! Therefore, our power went out, and without power in the middle of winter, things tend to get...cold. COLD AS BALLZ!! Has been my recent phrase, which, let's be honest, are ballz really that cold. Beside that awkward point, I would just like to mention how often cold can get to us. Cold can sometimes last for a really long time, and no matter how warm you make yourself, no matter the temperature, you're still cold! I'm pretty sure that's a symptom of some virus that can kill you, or heroine, can't really remember which. That aside, cold is kind of one of those things like rain, where if you experience you learn to appreciate things more. Where would we be without moments of fireplace egg nog and cuddling up at night? Can you imagine how miserable that would be if we were ALWAYS warm? Things like pizza, chinese food, snickers, yogurt, (took me seven tries to get that word right) and soda taste good cold. (this my opinion, I don't expect everyone to agree to these terms) But among the many things that are cold, there should still be things we keep warm; hearts, smiles, toes, eyes, toilet seats, and hot cocoa. It's weird that science has made it so that if you leave something out for too long it gets "cold." I think we can apply that to our lives personally. Anything left out for too long can become cold. Letting love linger in the air, never making it fresh and keeping it hidden in silence can just make it go cold. If we never let the people we care about know how we feel, it just gets freezer burnt and nasty, and no one wants that. Again, if you're feeling heated in an argument, letting it go, giving it time to cool can make things much the merrier. I think we have to reflect on every moment of our lives and wonder what temperature we want it. Should it be hot or cold? It may seem silly, but I understand silly better than anything, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. Every day we're looking for something of a specific temperature, "she's so hot" "he's so cool" and all that good stuff, so sometimes we have to really take the initiative while it's "hot of the press" and make the most of the time we have, before things cool, or thaw, or whatever you're waiting for. I think this might be why we love our seasons so much. I know some that just crave the summer nights, and others that can't wait for winterglow. The great thing about these seasons is that, thanks to modern technology and a high enough electric bill, we can be what we want. Too cold? Turn up the heat! Too hot? Get some air conditioning in here! But there are still things that just... belong. Hot cocoa in July? You're CRAZY! Ice cream sandwhich on New Years?...Okay, maybe not that one, but you get the idea. We have to sometimes just let things come in the temperature they are in. Some like it hot, some like it cold, we can't force anyone to be what we want, because that's what they are, and they have a season that they shine in as well. I'm not the type to tell someone to be the person for me when they have a degree that they shine in. What a horrible person I would be to force Apple Cider on people in the High Heat of Summer! Things can heat up, they can cool down, but we have to take people as they are, love their temperature and their season. This is the true kind of love that we all want, unconditional, unrelenting, unchanging, and unpredictable. Know who you are, what you want, and how you want it. After that? It's all just waiting for the right temperature. And that's my COLD cup of philosophy tea!

Getting a way for a while

Whether you're the greatest of great or the lowest of low, everyone feels like they just need something to change. Sometimes change finds us, and we feel much less than wonderful for a while. It's not that we're resentful, but caught off guard. There has always been something that we want. Sometimes we don't even know what we want, and all we want is to know what we want. We can sit and daydream for hours on end with an aspiration to finally take that one quick leap of faith we once felt so close to. At nights we can sit up and look at the sky knowing that there is just something we are missing. If we just put our arms out we can almost touch it. To some people it comes late at night when we're trying to sleep, grabbing for something, someone, that isn't there. Maybe we know that there is something missing. Maybe those that have experienced life need so much more than this life has to offer. Maybe fate is a force that we used to know, and now we're relearning it all over again. We try so hard to find what isn't there that often we pretend that we aren't even looking anymore. "I'm done!" we tell ourselves. We consider that we're crazy for believing that there could be so much more, that maybe a place made just for us will be waiting for us if we only look hard enough. We give up, not because others think we've lost it, but because we think we're expecting too much. But there in the back of our minds is that lingering idea, that memory that didn't happen. Can we really cast it aside as if it never happened?
Every now and again we need to stop and think about what is happening around us. Where do we fit in the world? Maybe we are hurting, struggling to be known, to be loved, to be noticed. More often than not right beside us we will find the hurt, the tired, and the neglected. How much joy we can find in helping them feel important, supported, maybe even help them know that you're crazy too. Perhaps we need to find a new way. A way that is virtuous and honest, something that makes us better than we started. Make life something that is tender and lasting. So many people for so long are just looking for that other place where they can escape, where they can stop for just one precious moment to catch a drift of air filling their souls with hope, with vigor and with renewed faith that things will get better. Maybe all that really exists is the dream. But isn't it worth dreaming? Dreams are the only things that we can hold tight when all the lights seem to fade and everyone else is gone, leaving us with a thought, that dream, bringing us closer to something more than ourselves, more than others, more than just words and poems and songs and verses that come so short of what we feel. You can't even imagine what others are feeling. They've seen so much, been so many places, and felt things that we couldn't even start to understand, yet in the collection of humanity there is that want, that drive to just feel like you belong to someone. God is a maker of men, yet why would He not put a little of Himself in the recipe? Are we meant to suppress the idea that just maybe, in the slim chance that we are meant for something more, there is "right" out there made just for us. You'll find a small glimpse in the nights you spend with a lover, the long talks you have with a friend, or the laughing with a child. It can keep us knowing that we could live like that. So many give up hope, they give up the dream, and soon the light fades from their eyes, replaced with cynical thoughts of "never" and "couldn't" only to leave us with a hurting heart and the idea that they reached the best any of us can achieve. Bitter ends never gave life to those we love. Maybe it isn't all perfect, and maybe those we might love let us down. Maybe life ends too soon, and maybe we don't deserve all the pain we feel, but a fraction of time could tell us how much peace there is to be found if we will only listen. I guess it's overrated in this life, waiting. But so many people are in such a hurry to get nowhere, I can't help but wonder if they even care where they get just so long as they get somewhere. The victor of somewhere. They don't know why they are there, but they know that the battle was hard and that they spent much of their energy getting to wherever they are. In the end, they find that the dream is even further from them, now that they've lost sight of what is important.
It isn't too late. There is never a too late. For when we stop and think about where we are, and hold that memory close, we realize that maybe never is just the opportunity for forever. They say that the only real insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting new results. Maybe our insane inspiration isn't so strange after all. Try getting a way for a while. This is my new philosophy in a tea cup.

Garden of Eden

Garden of Eden. It's a tea I found in Hungary, and it's REALLY good. Anyway, the point is that as I sip this tea, I think about what that really is, the Garden of Eden. Truly an intriguing story. It is a time where complete innocence is tempted to do something that isn't right. We know that through this story, without someone tempting us to do evil, we wouldn't necessarily do it, until it becomes addiction, kind of like my addiction to this tea so promptly placed next to me. From this story we can only deduct that we are inherently good people, right? Sadly we now find ourselves in a world that will do everything it can to addict us to something. Whether it's tobacco, alcohol, drugs, or any other kind of addicting stimulant, the point of it is to numb us and kick us out of our Garden of Eden. I once heard that when we have any kind of addiction or passion, feeding it dulls the part of our mind that governs choice and morality. What once was noble and good, resisting the urge to do something you shouldn't, has now become foolish and ancient. The idea of "giving in" to our carnal pleasures has become an idea of poetic acclaim, being hoisted up and mounted on a pedestal of expression and freedom. What a pity. I sip the tea with the idea that control is something we are losing. Self control is now becoming a rarity and we are starting to not only ignore the side of us that helps us maintain sanity, but we are feeding the side that prompts us to be selfish, barbaric, wanting, and driven. Romance is no longer about finding the one you love, but finding the one that causes your fire to burn, makes you desire, and feed. Unnerving, isn't it? And yet as I sip this tea, I taste the purity that comes from the flavor it has, something that can't be tainted, that isn't obscure, that wants only to do what it was meant to do. There are things that will not be tainted. As humans we are given that wonderful ability to choose what we want to do, and yet with that ability comes a responsibility to use that power for the betterment of others. All too often we see those doing all that they can to make themselves feel better, instead of looking for a valiant way to help those around them. Tea is pure, tea is decent, you don't have to tell tea to grow because that's what it does. Yet we are humans, we are here to love one another with a pure love, to bring happiness to the world around us. Wake up each morning with a selfless attitude and see where it gets you. The tree does not ask for money after it gives it's shade, the water doesn't abandon you when you've finished swimming, and the sun doesn't stop it's rays when you didn't help it shine in china. We need to learn our purpose. We have a natural desire to do things that are harmful to others when we've taken that first bite of the apple, but more natural than this is our joy in helping others. Relinquishing what we want, and emphasizing what we can do for others is a joy that no drug can imitate, no alcohol can wash away, and no seductive evening can replace. Work hard for it! As a species that has the ability to truly shape the future of this planet, we have the indisputable task of making things better, but not one man can do it alone. When people begin to wake up and realize that this isn't about you, it isn't about me, it's about us, then we will rise to the true potential that we've been afraid to unlock all these years. Do something pure, do something kind, and learn what love is before selfishness destroys us. Yes, that feeling and rush that comes from doing something wicked is quick and relieving, but death can be just as quick, and even more so relieving. You might ask then, how do I overcome these habits? What am I to do when I've spent so much time living this way? I've already taken too many bites, how do I get back? I can only say that the way back to a life untainted and whole is through getting back habits you lost, and crushing the idea of selfishness as it comes. Whenever we find ourselves daydreaming about self satisfaction, go out and help someone, as soon as possible. Go to the person closest to you and ask if you can help them. Find a way to counteract the stimulus in your brain to stop feeding the bad, and start feeding the good. If you recall in the story of the Garden of Eden, that sly snake was the only voice present, there was no one else there to help on the other side. When living in a state of innocence, there is no good and there is no bad, therefore when the first sign of one of the two is manifest, it will undoubtedly overpower the other until the latter becomes present. NURTURE THAT LATTER!! Too often is the side of addiction present, too often is the idea of selfish wants and needs presented in our world. It has become more important now than it ever has been before that there be an equal balance. Right now the yin and the yang are not monitored, the self desire and gratification is ever more present than the helping of others and the assisting those in need. Both seem normal, but only one can last. I'll let you decide. This is my Philosophy in a Tea Cup, dreaming in Eden.