Thanks, that was fun

I guess sometimes you're too late. It's strange that I've reached a point in my life where I have to watch out for hitting on people that are MARRIED. I guess it's like I've always said, only time will tell. I've noticed something else as well. I look at the old messages I had sent people, I've changed so much, maybe not for the better, but I've changed. Enemies become friends and friends become enemies. I know I've done some people wrong because somehow when I read the conversations I've had with people, things change. What we talk about, how we flirt, what philosophies we share. I realize that I've screwed things up, a lot. I made promise I didn't keep, I said I was going to be a better friend and in fact became their worst enemy. I don't think I like who I've turned into, it's strange but I've said this several times, it's just like my seasons, I don't like who I am sometimes. I spend so much time finding out who I am only to be disappointed by myself. I'm over it now, but I seem to have strayed down a path that I never wanted to be a part of, and I'm doing the worst thing I could do. I'm being ok with it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, DO NOT CHANGE FOR PEOPLE, but if you find yourself caught in the tide that you never wanted to be a part of, GET OUT! We've all made mistakes and we have the RIGHT to fix them. I will say though, that every detour you take, every mistake you're ashamed of, you can still head back to the path you want. But make SURE that YOU want it.
Speaking of which, what is it with me and wanting what I can't have? I don't mean that because I can't have it I want it, I mean I want something and then suddenly it becomes unavailable after I've wanted it. I guess I should just stop wanting things huh? But I've learned to deal with my issues through sarcasm, humor, and activity. I've lost all interest in finding what "turns people on" and I've learned that the only acceptable society is one's self. Perhaps we may not fit the mold our parents asked us to, perhaps we aren't the norm that the world has created, and we probably aren't the obedient children of those revolutions we should be, but one thing is for sure, we've become ourselves. The boisterous generation that lets everyone know what we are thinking, or at least what everyone else is thinking. But considering this loud world we live in I would like to shout out to the souls that got lost. To the voices that are just as important, if not more important than the loud and overbearing voices, I say this, We know you are there, we know that although you have a hard time being outspoken and speaking your mind, you are still very dear to us. Some people aren't blessed with the ability to say what they're thinking, to join the chorus of the shouting rebels, and to you I show my sympathy. They say that the meek inherit the earth, I find that the meek hold the earth together. Maybe you aren't the ones setting fire to the rules of yesteryear, maybe you aren't the ones making the speeches at graduations, conference halls, and churches. But we know that you're there, and 50% of everything we say, we say because of you. We've seen your deeds, and although you may be the shy girl in the back corner giving everyone their limelight, or the guy in the back that doesn't believe his opinion is worth mentioning, we know you, we respect you, and I need you. So in all of my ranting and false eloquence of speech, I would like to let you know that although you cannot put your words down on paper, or type them for the world to see, I know that you have them, that you have emotions that are dying to get out. Emotions that you are afraid of, that you feel might not be acceptable or up to par with everyone else. Do NOT change who you are, we need you. You're the fabric that holds our rambunctious world together. And I thank you. I hope you know the sincerity of my Philosophy in a Tea Cup