A little off track

If procrastinating were a marketable trade I would probably be the head of my field. I spent the night talking through my troublesome life with a very close friend. Exchanging stories like frat boys exchange phone numbers I felt a connection you can only feel when you pour out your heart to someone you feel safe respecting. Sadly the downfall of this would be the fact that I was up again until about five o clock in the morning. This was needless to say a big mistake, you see, college has deemed it fit to stress out millions of Americans by hosting their quarterly "Finals." Ask any human that has suffered through these treacherous times and they will simply tell you "They are treacherous times." These "Finals" are supposed to be revered and studied for diligently, however, going to sleep at five and waking up at one in the afternoon is probably not the greatest technique for studying. As I stated before I woke up at one and not wanting to seem lazy and lethargic I dawned my mask of "busy" upon my face and march up the stairs looking as though I had been up for hours, which of course was not the case. But in the midst of all these moments of tricking others and myself into believing things that are less than true something seemed to hit me even more than the smell of fast food wafting in the kitchen air. (I despise missing fast food day) Perhaps my life is taking a turn for the better. Events have taken over my life that may have worn out my life and perhaps shaved a few years off, but now it seems that the storm is over and the final drizzles of the rain are finally subsiding. I'm very particular about people that I allow into my life and I suppose you could call me the "tester of people." I enjoy seeing how people will act toward me supposing I don't act the way I ought to. I commend a truthful person, not one afraid to express how they feel in all situations. As I surround myself with people that I truly trust with my life I feel a safety and security that isn't always apparent in an ever growing deceiving world. Returning to my point, I feel a wave of relief sweep over me as the test results for my cancerous mother come back come back negative, as I realize that after these finals I have nothing but time, and after each day there is a someone waiting for me to find them and hide them in the safety of my arms. A dimmer present leads to a brighter future that only seems to grow with each proceeding second. I can honestly say right now that life is a much brighter shade of blue than the previous gray weeks. They say that when one door closes another opens and here I am to let everyone know that this is not a philosophy but a fact. Starting from the basics I found out that my dear mother had cancerous cells in her and they may have infiltrated her liver bringing a huge weight upon my self and the rest of my family. Only a few days later I missed the opportunity to say goodbye to a friend that I won't be able to see for two years and the only communications we're allowed to have is through letters and e-mails. A shelter that I had fled to when in need of hiding has finally collapsed and I found myself alone. Finally to top off the disaster one day later a girl that I had fallen in love with told me that she hadn't time for me and we needed to go seperate ways for a bit. A life that once was full had fallen into an empty glass I couldn't get a hold of. But today the world was once again on my string being toted like a child pulls his red flyer to the park. As I stated before, my mother is fine, I've found a great friend I can trust in that has shown me that just because someone has left you it doesn't mean you have to be alone, and I've been reintroduced to an amazing woman that reminds me that smiling is easy with the right person. I know that no one likes to hear that it's sunny when they have a cloud stuck over their head that just seems unable to leave. I just want to say to everyone that good things will happen if you let them. And that's my philosophy in a tea cup.