You'd think so

Days seem to pass like the latest high school trends. Hammer pants, Acid wash jeans, mohawks, Spiked Hair, it's all just a passing fad. You take a look at yourself and what you looked like even five years ago and usually can't help but laugh. Now I have to ask the question. Were you happy then? I ask this because I was looking through my endless amounts of myspace and facebook pictures and saw one picture. I was smiling, she was smiling, and someone left a comment that read, "you two look so cute and so happy." I'd like to think I was happy. Pictures have a way of bringing back so many memories, one picture can recall an entire lifetime of relationships, friendships, vacations, and accomplishments. So when I look at the pictures taken of me now and I view them again, what will I say when I am asked "were you happy?" I don't know the answer to this so don't expect one. I know it's strange, but I believe it is possible to be happy or unhappy and not even know it. They say it's a choice to be happy. I believe that it is a choice to decide whether or not you WERE happy. There's always a big picture we didn't see before, a grand scheme made from Gods for man. How could we ever sum up our lives into words like happy, sad, successful, or unaccomplished. Lives are works of art, endlessly being built one upon the other, a vast array of colors and bases that would need a pallate beyond words to illustrate. I would think that this is the reason we smile in pictures. We smile to remember that we were happy, that happiness was just the action of opening our mouths and letting out an emotion that everyone could relate to. I would like to say, however, that we can tell when we faked it. We know when we look at a picture and our smile could be as warm as the sun, and yet the picture feels cold and empty. Is it something in the eyes? Something in the face as a whole? I couldn't tell you, but we've all seen it. That is when we can ask "I wasn't happy was I?" Because to truly smile, to have a smile that is sincere and heartfelt, you have to have a reason to smile, a thought that MAKES you smile. Without it, a smile becomes a cheap product with low production value. I stated before how we choose what we're worth, and this is where we make that choice. Faking happiness doesn't make anyone happy. The Bible says, "Mourn with those who mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort." There are some things in the Bible that every creed can identify with. But I don't ever recall any book of value saying "Lie to others when you're sad so that they can feel better, Push everyone away because you're having a bad day and no one understands you." That isn't how we as humans were designed. That's right, we as humans have a design, an outline to how we as everyday humans can feel happy and safe. The people that you see smiling from sun up to sun down have found that design, they smile from their head to their toes and out through the heart, you know what I'm talking about because you've seen it. Often times thoughts come into your head such as "Well what makes him so happy?" In the end, the answer is, he still has that happy thought, that memory that carries him from day to day. It's not because he has the biggest house, it's not because he has the greatest car, it's not because he's won the lottery, it's because he's fighting. He is constantly fighting to hold on to that one brief moment that made the everything ok. That one memory where he digs deep into his mind, and says with whole hearted assurance that He Was Happy! And he's holding on to that memory, holding on for dear life, not letting it go for a second. I admit that it's easier for people that have many happy memories, but I will also tell you that it is so much easier to hold on to your happy memories when you let go of your sad ones. Life will keep happening, whether you let it or not, so why not make it happen with you in it? And that is my smiling philosophy in a tea cup.